This is not a self-help thing
As we look for biblical principles to serve as practical tools to help us with anxiety, let us remember the three things needed for growth that Jesus taught in the parable of the fig tree in the vineyard. (Luke 13:6-9)
- Plow – dig up the unproductive habits in your life
- Fertilize – add good productive routines to your life
- Give it time – there are no quick fixes, we must live out principles for them to take hold and work
To be clear, this passage is about the fruit of the Spirit and the more we try to look at things as “self help’ the further we are getting away from real biblical help. So as we look now at self-control and specifically the aspect of courage, let us remember that we depend on our relationship with Jesus for this to be produced in us. It is a result of his moving and working in us. The first and most important thing we can do in any situation is seek Him.
Coping instead of Avoiding
The idea that we should avoid behaviors that increase stress sounds like a good idea on the surface but spiritual growth, striving to reach goals, confronting our fears, and ministering to others are all worthwhile pursuits that will undoubtedly cause stress and anxiety. And what’s more those admiral goals cannot be reached by avoiding stress.
Hiding
We can all learn unhealthy behaviors that actually make the stress worse. Avoidance is a very common practice. We are all guilty of hiding from stressful things in one way or another. Instead of dealing with the stressor we choose to hide in work, television shows, social drama, romance, pinterest, sleep, facebook, gaming or alcohol. But after we are done hiding, or simply can’t hide anymore, we find that we have wasted our time and the problem is still there. But it is worse than even that, now we have a new problem. We have created an escape route and the stress wants to drive us right back to hiding again. This self perpetuating habit is a destructive pattern that can paralyze your life. I have known very smart students go off to college and end up dropping out because they hid from the stress of school in video games and missed deadlines and assignments until there was no way to catch up. When we give in to the fear of failure then we become focused on emotion and do nothing or we choose something to hide in. If we are paralyzed by fear then stress wins. On the other hand, doing those things you don’t want to do lowers your stress. Anxiety HATES courage.
Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go. (Jos 1:9).
Stuffing
Another unhealthy tactic we can develop is just stuffing the stress back down. Pretending it doesn’t exist. Sometimes I have heard the term “powering through”. These all describe an overly pragmatic approach but they are ultimately not practica. Because they simply do not address the stress. Its a tricky distinction but the idea is that we should not focus on the stress but we should take action to address the cause of it. If a test is stressing you out then study. If it’s past drama then seek help with that. If it is work then take action to improve your situation. None of these are going to be immediate relief but they will over time lower the stress levels. Remember that anxiety thrives on fear cannot exist in the presence of courage.
Be strong and of good courage, do not fear nor be afraid of them; for the Lord your God, He is the One who goes with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you. (Dt 31:6).
Toxifying
Another modern practice I have noticed on the rise is to call situations or people ‘toxic’. This can be just another way to avoid dealing and developing coping mechanisms that will be better for us to have. Yes, there are people that always focus on the negative and there are situations, jobs, peer groups or even families that have very unhealthy relationships. There are people we can’t trust or confide in. There are even people that you should never even be alone with. But merely giving them a label does not actually give you any tools in how to deal with them. And we need to be able to deal with all kinds of people for ourselves and for them. We can’t minister to or help people we refuse to deal with. To say someone has unhealthy pessimism is a way of identifying how you can treat them, respond to them and ultimately how to help them. But to label, a person as a pessimist just enables us to write them off. Not Helpful. Instead, let’s do the hard thing and face tough people with the power of grace. We can love the unlovable just as we were loved when we were unlovable. It is scary but we were given a spirit of fear. Brave love is toxic to anxiety.
God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind. (2 Ti 1:7).
Prayer
I teach the students at my school “Pray, keep praying, then pray.” The proper preparation for encountering stressful situations you know or don’t know are coming is to pray. Then when you are dealing with them and coping and trying to have courage be sure to keep praying. Then when you can do nothing more, pray. Prayer is brave and often takes humility and courage. Prayer is not hiding or avoiding but supplication. It also should not be a last resort. Prayer should be our first response to stress and then our companion as we deal it and then when we have done all we can, we should settle with prayer. Remember that as we pray with thanksgiving God promises to guard us.
—-
Avoid Avoidance
DO NOT:
hide from stressors – this reenforces crippling anxiety
pretend they don’t exist – this is a lie and cannot help
label people and situations in order to cut them out of your life
DO
learn to cope and deal
lean on the Holy Spirit for the courage of self-control
Pray, keep praying, then pray.
by 