As we continue to look at anxiety and stress. We can all become very caught up in the fear of failure. Give yourself permission to fail. That doesn’t mean we fail on purpose. And of course, I am not suggesting we sin intentionally. My point is that God encourages us to NOT quit in the face of failure. There is a lot of cliche sayings out there meant to make you feel better when you fail: “Failure is success in progress.” or “Fail stands for First Attempt In Learning”. “Failure is not the end but just a new place to start.” And there are more. These are perhaps very true and good reminders but in and of themselves they lack meaningful substance. I remember saying to a student once “Failure is just an opportunity” and their confused response was “ok? What do I DO with that?” So let’s try to look a little deeper.
History
I think it would be helpful to look at some biblical examples. Let’s start with man number one. Adam. I mean come on, he had one job. He failed but he also learned about God’s grace, forgiveness and just how deep God’s love is. He would never have experienced those things if not for his failure. God, again and again, takes our failures and mistakes and works them for good (Gen 50:20).
What about Jonah? He failed. God said go to Nineveh and he headed for Tarsus. He also failed to reach Tarsus. In the belly of the great fish, he repented and was cast out on the beach near Nineveh. But even after his repentance and preaching in Nineveh, he failed to see the joy in their repentance even though he had enjoyed the blessing of his own. But because he failed we have this wonderful example of God’s pursuit of people who are rebellious of him.
Then there is David. God’s anointed king of his people. The man that the Father promised to establish an eternal kingdom through. A man after God’s own heart. It is his throne that Jesus will rule from. Yet he failed in some big ways. He coveted his neighbor’s wife. He failed his wife and family when he had an affair with her. Then he failed to keep his own law and ordered the murder of her husband. But it was the son from this illicit relationship that God will command to build his temple.
So as you can see, God is not really surprised by our failure. There are many other examples I could mention from the bible but I think you get the point. There is value in failure. You learn for more from failure than from success. And there is always an opportunity to become better after a failure and that his not always true after success. So here is something practical you can do…. or not do. Don’t beat yourself up when you fail or have trouble in an area. Don’t give voice to statements like “I’m so stupid.” or “I can’t do this.” and all the negative things that come to your mind when you’re struggling with something. Just don’t say it. And don’t dwell on the thoughts either. When you catch yourself saying or thinking these kinds of destructive thoughts remember kindness, remember you are loved (Rm 8:38-39). Remind yourself that God, your parents and I will still love you if you do your best and fail. Every time! 70 times 7 times (Mt 18:22). In fact, we will still love you even if you don’t do your best, but you will earn respect by doing your best and not quitting. It’s true, even though there is value in failure, there is even more to be learned from not quitting. The bible does not say ‘do not fail’, it says ‘do not quit’.
Quitters never learn
“Let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart. “(Ga 6:9). That means don’t give up or quit. We need to realize the real value is finishing. I tell my students I would rather see you bring back an assignment where you miss everyone than a blank piece of paper. Because I know can work with mistaken effort but I cannot correct nothingness. “Glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character; and character, hope.” (Rm 5:3). Another practical thing you can do is stop using being hard on yourself or putting your self down or stressing out as a defense mechanism. Unfortunately, many of us have learned that if we stress ourselves out and say negative things about ourselves then someone will come to our rescue. This is the same as quitting. Doing this is still avoiding the thing that is causing the anxiety.
Try this exercise:
- Write down three things you have quit. Now I am not talking about bad habits or hobbies. I mean things you have quick because you gave up.
- Now list one thing you are struggling with that you really want to quit.
- Now give this some thought. Maybe you don’t have the lessons, self-confidence, faith, and perseverance from those three things that you quit that would help you get through the one thing your struggling with.
Don’t quit. The bible is full of encouragement in the face of adversity and moreover promises that God will help you if you stick it through. “Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.” (Jos 1:9). Even if we fail God will not. (Ps 73:26). We are strongest when we are leaning on his strength and not our own abilities (2 Cor 12:9-10). When we lean on him and trust him we cannot be moved. (Ps 55:22). Even when we fail (which we will), God promises to work it out for his good as long as we are loving him in the process (Ro 8:28). So take heart. It’s ok if you fail, just don’t quit.
“God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind” (2 Ti 1:7)
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