Grace Junkies

Anxiety is supposed to be a good thing. When crossing a street you should feel anxious. It heightens the senses and makes you alert. It is uncomfortable on purpose. It is there to motivate you to take action. But several things in our current culture are conspiring together to remove the ability to relieve the stressors. One is parents and teachers who with best intentions try too hard to take care of things for you. They try to and have been very successful in removing stress from your life so that now you don’t have the skills to do it yourself. Two is how connected we all are right now. This can ramp up stress levels because we are trained to expect instant reactions. 

First things first, its ok to be anxious. Most high anxiety problems stem from a problem with expectations. So expect to be stressed out some. But also expect to be able to manage it. Know that if the stress becomes the issue instead of things causing stress then it’s too much. If your anxiety prevents you from doing things you want to do. Worry says “you can’t handle this!” God says you can do all things He has called you to do! If you are stressed out about being stressed out or worried about your anxiety. Then you can and should do something about it. God has given you tools and plans to get you through it. 

Second things second, just knowing its ok to be worried isn’t going to make you less worried. Realizing that you need to make some changes isn’t going to make them. Reading this is not going to fix it.  You were trained or trained yourself into this and you will have to do some training to get out of it.  Let us consider the parable that Jesus told in  Luke 13:1-9. I suggest you read all nine verses but here is the meat of it: “And he [the vineyard owner] said to the vineyard-keeper, ‘Behold, for three years I have come looking for fruit on this fig tree without finding any. Cut it down! Why does it even use up the ground?’ And he answered and said to him, ‘Let it alone, sir, for this year too, until I dig around it and put in fertilizer.'”  Jesus is modeling the thing needed to produce fruit. Work, Nutrients, and Time. The work is plowing up your old soil. Realize that the routines you have now are not helping you need to make changes. Next is the nutrients you need. Truth is a big part of that. Read your bible the source of truth but also talk to others you trust and be willing to listen to loving advice. Finally, allow for time. Just talking about it once isn’t going to make you a perfect handler of all stress.

Third, Be Intentional! Don’t just let stress happen to you. Below is a list of tools and methods you can use to stay on top of it.

• • Give yourself permission to be anxious (Luke 22:44, Mt 26:36-56, Psalms 69, 40, and 80
    • Practice things that address the stress – Take Captive (Col 2:8, 2 Cor 10:5)
      • lists are your friends – Luke 13:1-9, Exodus 20, Gen 1:1-9
        • list your emotions and the causes
        • list all the things that you have to do or that need attention
        • list what you already know needs to be done
        • use a calendar and map out your tasks
          • paper calendars have their advantages
      • stress hates faith in action (Proverbs 21:25, Proverbs 26:14)
        • take action: study, do the work, ask advice, talk it out (James 1:22)
        • put your faith into action (James 2:18)
        • there is freedom in doing not for self but for God (Colossians 3:23-24)
        • be diligent (Proverbs 13:4) having or showing care and conscientiousness in one’s work or duties.
      • continually try to think differently
        • do not focus on what can go wrong  or worst-case scenarios
        • think about solutions to your problem
          • make a list of them (lists are your friends)
        • renew your mind (Romans 12:2)
    • REST! (Genesis 2:2-3, Ex 33:14, Mark 6:31, Psalm 127:2, Psalms 46:10)
      • get some sleep
      • plan to relax
      • meditate and practice doing nothing
      • ritual can be comforting
      • give yourself a break from social media and your phone
        • do not sleep with your phone in your room
    • Breathe (Isaiah 42:5, Job 33:4, John 20:22,  Psalms 46:10, Philippians 4:6-7)
      • God is the source of breath so take a deep breath (Gen 2:7)
      • focus on your breathing (Job 27:3-5) and speak life (Proverbs 18:21)
      • Recite scripture (2 Tim 3:16, Psalms 23,)
      • develope calming breathing exercises and connect them to prayer (Mt 6:9-13)
      • fill your breath with the praise of God (Psalms 150:6)
      • Resist the devil and he will flee from you (James 4:7)
      • Set a guard (Philippians 4:6-7)
    • Avoid behaviors that increase your stress (Joshua 1:9, Deut 31:6, 2 Tim 1:7)
      • stuffing your emotions until they overflow
      • ignoring the problem (Matthew 5:24-26)
      • pretending you don’t have stress
      • hiding is cowardice (Proverbs 28:1)
        • in video games
        • social media
        • drama
        • work
      • eating poorly and not getting enough rest
        • self-care is the opposite of self-harm
      • DO NOT avoid stressful situations
        • Avoid Avoidance
        • this reenforces crippling anxiety
        • we are to learn to cope not avoid
  • Give yourself permission to fail
    • God, your parents and I will still approve of you if you do your best and fail.
    • we will still love you even if you don’t do your best
    • don’t beat yourself up when you fail or have trouble in an area
      • when you catch yourself doing that remember kindness, remember you are loved
      • develop reasonable expectations of yourself and your work
    • stop using being hard on yourself or stressing out as a defense mechanism
      • we have all done it
      • it does not help
  • Manage your expectations
    • expect to be stressed and worried
      • plan for it
      • have coping techniques
      • the helmet of salvation (Isaiah 59:17, Eph 6:17, 1 Thes 5:8)
        • Lean into Jesus’ salvation (Matthew 6:25-34)
        • No matter what – it’s going to be GREAT!  (Romans 8:18)
        • Heaven waiting (Rev 21:4)
    • allow yourself to be happy when you exceed your own expectations
      • if you NEVER exceed your expectations then they are too high
      • set reasonable expectations
        • challenge yourself
        • set goals
          • short reachable goals will help you get to big long terms
        • be self-aware
  • Grace in the context of courteous goodwill.
    • Give yourself grace
    • Treat your friends with grace
    • Ask for grace
    • Expect a certain measure of grace
      • do not become entitled
      • grace is not something we deserve

Fourth, the Bible tells us that following your emotions is never a good thing. Emotions are good they were given to us by God to bless us and make our lives rich and full but they are not supposed to govern us. The enemy wants you to follow every emotion. Worry is an attack on faith itself.

 

Emotion	Fleshly response	Fleshly result	Godly response	Godly Result
Excitement	lust	idolatry/adultery	temperance	fervor
Guilt	Self-deprecation	worthlessness	repentance	peace
Happiness	frivolity	foolishness	praise	thankfulness
Sadness	depression	death	morning	comfort
Peaceful Calm	complacency	laziness	reflection	wisdom
Pleased	pride	boastfulness	appreciation	blessed
Anger	hate	murder	justice	righteousness
Hurt	inconsolable	bitterness	grace	forgiveness
Anxiety	worry	helplessness	supplication diligence	faith and trust

 

Emotion is not right or wrong

Anxiety is not a moral wrong. Nor is it something that good people don’t have. It is a good and necessary thing.  Jesus had anxiety (Luke 22:44). Jesus was driven to pray all night (Matthew 26:36-56). David (a man after God’s own heart) experienced lots of anxiety (Psalms 69, 40, 80). But when we develop behaviors that artificially cause us anxiety or we practice responses to anxiety that actually increase stress, then we need and are equipped by God to correct those behaviors.

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