“Blessed are the merciful, For they shall be shown mercy.” Mt 5:7
To show mercy is to not punish or harm someone who has earned vengeance or wrath. God shows his mercy and defines it with forgiveness. For us, it means to forgive with compassion either a wrong, an offense or debt.
The Holy Spirit produces in us Christians the fruit kindness to achieve the seemingly hard task of forgiveness. The greek for kindness in Gal 5:22 is ‘chrestotes’ which is the act of doing good or useful things for another for the sake of the other. As we pursue intimacy with Jesus the Holy Spirit produces these good works in us. As we do these kindnesses for others we will naturally find that their very nature contrasts and conflicts with unforgiveness in our life. Kindness is the opposite of being unmerciful. But sometimes offenses can be very stubborn things to shed.
Let’s look at three ideas that can help us with forgiving hard things.
ONE
When we are frustrated with others or offended by others to remember what we have been forgiven for. Just like the servant in the story of Mt 18: 21-35, we have no right to hold an offense considering what we have been forgiven for. In comparison, we owe each other dimes and nickels and the Lord has forgiven us millions.
Some people struggle with severe crimes and abuses and the idea that we, as Christians, are to forgive things that will affect us our whole lives. Things that our sense of justice say are unforgivable. Indeed they may very well seem unforgivable.
TWO
Understand who is really behind the evil and why. The enemy takes us captive to his lies he is a murderer and a liar (John 8:44). Whoever has wronged you is indeed a victim of the enemies lies as well. That is not an excuse for there actions but it can serve to help us understand the motive of the enemy. He wishes to destroy us, our testimony, our peace. If he can do that by unforgivable acts of others that cause us to hold grudges, anger, and bitterness. Then he has a temporary victory in us. Realize that as we forgive others we are defeating the plans and schemes of the originator of evil. Allow him no foothold in your life.
THREE
It might help us, also, to remember mercy is not trust. We are to show mercy and by doing so forgive but that does not mean letting an offender or abuser back into a position where they could harm us or others again. We should not trust unwisely. Scripture warns against misplaced trust (Psalm 118:8, Micah 7:5-8, Jer 9:4). Some crimes come with the consequence of permanent loss of trust. A loss of trust can be, “I am not going to give you any more money.” or as severe as “I don’t trust you enough to even allow you access to me in any way.” But let us not confuse a loss of trust with continuing in a state of being offended or in carrying a vendetta. Unforgiveness, deep-seated anger, and bitterness only hurts the one carrying it. Set it down in prayer and trust in God, not the offender.
Showing mercy benefits the giver even more than the recipient. Indeed, the recipient need not even know that you have forgiven their debt. If they never repent to you or ask for forgiveness then there is no biblical requirement to inform them of your forbearance.
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