What about female deacons… that’s a no no right?
Sorry. The qualification given for deaconship listed as ‘husband of one wife’ cannot mean what many denominations have tried to make it mean. Some over apply and over legalize this passage. It is listed in (1 Tim 3:12) concerning deacons but the phrase is also used for elders or overseers in (Titus 1:6, and 1 Tim 3:2). First, let’s take a look at what it doesn’t mean.
Does that mean a deacon has to be married? No.
Paul makes it clear that he would rather servants be single (1 Cor 7:7-9), but the Holy Spirit allows for marriage.
Does it mean that a deacon cannot be divorced? No.
-Divorce is not a good thing (Luke 16:18, Malichi 2:16). God hates divorce. Marriage is always spoken of positively in scripture. Divorce is always the result of sin. But when we are forgiven our sin is put away as far as the east is from the west (Psalms 103:12). We will still have earthly consequences but not with God. We are free from such things (Rom 8:1). So there is not a permanent mark placed upon a divorced man, after all, remember, God himself is divorced (Jer 8:3). It is clear that a deacon should show repentance if divorced and an ongoing faithfulness if married.
Does it even mean that a deacon must be a man? No.
There were female deacons in the new testament and Paul wholeheartedly approved of them. (Rom 16:1). There were female prophets (what we would call a pastor today), female judges, female bosses, female worship leaders, and even female disciples. You can read more about women leaders in the bible here. God actually chose a young married female to save his people, a young queen named Esther. And an unmarried girl named Mary to bear his Son and save us all. God has never disparaged the capability of women. He uses all of us (Gal 3:28).
So What DID Paul Mean?
The husband of one wife simply means a faithful spouse. It was a prohibition against adultery and polygamy within leadership. Something that was very common in the culture then and if you include adultery is still common today. The New Testament addresses this subject several times. (Acts 15:20, Mark 10:6, Mt 19:4). The prohibition was for males and females to be in right relationship with their spouses if they were married. Along with the other qualifications it is easy to see that Elders and Deacons should not be in open rebellion against God. They should not be engaging in open ongoing sin. Let us not put on extra restrictions or strict rules and man-made prohibitions. Let us help each other serve in love for one another. We are to serve in freedom. For who Christ has made free is FREE INDEED!
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